Gonna go play a show in Bowdoinham tonight at 7! If any of you live in the Bham/topsham area, come down and show us some love! It’s at the old FHC building next to the Town Landing Place store right on the waterfront in Bowdoinham!! $3 to get in, no family will pay more than $10!! thank you and i love all of you!!!!
I am sitting here remembering how much I love Fall Out Boy. Judge me, I don’t care haha. I wish I was in a band with as much energy as these guys.
This is probly not long awaited but whatever haha. It has finally come to a realization that I may be asked to not come back to the University of Maine for next year. I have finally told my mother and to my surprise, she was ok with it. I had been thinking the last few weeks that it will end very badly. In fact she is really ok with it. I’m so glad haha. So here it is, me being kicked out of school. I knew it would happen sometime. Me and my sister are so opposite it had to happen. She had a 4.0 all through high school and college. That’s 10 years of school, 4 high school, 4 undergrad, 2 masters degree. I was a B/C average in high school. So here it is haha. It makes you really think about what you are doing with your life. Makes you wonder if you are throwing it all away. But I won’t let it end with me getting kicked out. I will appeal this suspension and if I win, I get 1 more semester at UMO. If I fail out again I’m fucked. If I lose, I will stay home and work and go to community college, get my GenEds out of the way. I refuse to be a fuck up. I refuse to let school, of all things, fuck me over. I won’t let it happen. So here I go.
Recently I had a run in with someone who killed himself. His family had a hell of time with it. He had left no warning of the suicide for someone to catch. This man kept it from everyone, even his closest friends and family. If you are thinking about ending it, don’t do it. It’s not worth it. If you think the pain will end for you, it might. But for everyone else around you, it won’t. It never ends the way you want it to. Please remember. A life is not something to throw away. It may be yours to do with what you want but don’t just think it will end. Life never ends. It goes on and on. If not for you for the people around you. Please keep this in mind. If you are having feelings about suicide, talk to someone. Anyone, you don’t even need to know them. You never know how helpful someone can be. Trust me.
What do you want people to remember most about you when you’re gone? Do you want people to think highly of you or do you want them to hate you? Do you want to be missed, or do you not care? When you leave off with someone, can you be sure that you will see them again? No one can ever be sure. You will never know for sure that you will see someone again. When you say goodbye, it could be for good. People never take the time to think about this. They never seem to care about thinking. They just assume. I said goodbye to someone, but it was for the night. My father told me it was time for bed one night. I said goodbye and good night. I thought I would see him again. I was wrong. I wasn’t really old enough to think of a bigger picture. I thought I would see my father again when he came home from work. I didn’t. He had a heart attack at work. I miss the man. He was my father. He was missed by everyone. He made sure that when he left someone for the day or got off the phone, he would mean goodbye. He would never leave anyone so angry that they wouldn’t talk to him. He took care of the people he loved. When reading this, I want you to keep thinking. Think of how you end a conversation with someone. Don’t leave angry. Make sure you are on good terms with people. I’m not saying when you say goodbye that it will always be for good. I’m saying.. think. Think of the choices you make and how they impact people around you.
I think I will try to do one of these Blahh’s every day. If not every day, then every other day or something. I like this. It helps me get my ideas out and sort of vent. It’s nice knowing that somewhere someone is reading this. Well maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. Either way.
